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December 22 2024

TrekToday

An archive of Star Trek News

Blink of an Eye

By IJD GAF
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 2:46 PM GMT

See Also: 'Blink of an Eye' Episode Guide

Paris: Approaching a planet that looks like a bead.
Janeway: Why does it look so funny? It's got a hole running through it.
Chakotay: Maybe that's where you thread the string through.
Paris: Anyway, let's move a little closer and...oh no, we're stuck in orbit!

Primitive Guy 1: Oog! Booga Boog-
Primitive Guy 2: Stop that!
Voyager: Pardon me...
Ground: Rumble rumble
Voyager: Shiney shine shine!
Primitive Guy 2: It appears that new star is causing unwanted personifications!
Primitive Guy 1: Better give it that fruit that causes heartburn....

Seven: My analysis shows that this is one fff-*BEEP*-ed up planet. For every five minutes that take place here on Voyager, an hour takes place there.
Janeway: So this is how Zeke sees the world...

B'Ellana: Basically we're screwed till the second to last scene.
Chakotay: Oh well, lets watch them ominously till then.

Young Less-Primitive Guy: I've got an idea. Let's send the Personification Star a letter!
Old Less-Primitive Guy: Very nice. You dictate, I'll write.
Young Guy: *ahem* Stop shaking the ground and personifying things. It's gonna get real old real fast.
Old Guy: Isn't that a little demanding?
Young Guy: Meh.

Personification Star: (through telescope) SHINE!
Astronomer Guy 1: Time sure flies...can we talk to them yet?
Astronomer Guy 2: Not yet...just about...all right, we're advanced enough now.
Astronomer Guy 1: Excellent. *ahem* Please bring us a character with a name not ending in a number some time....
Personification Star: I can do that, just wait a few scenes.
Astronomer Guy 2: While you're at it, could you stop this personification nonsense?
Personification Star: Nope. Sorry!

Paris: We've gotta get outta here. The damage to their planet is pretty devastating, not to mention the damage being done to the humor.
Janeway: We better find out more first. Let's send them the Doctor!
Tuvok: Woah, hold it! They haven't attacked us with anti-matter missiles yet.

Doctor: Ready to go. So I just ask them how we leave? I thought they were supposed to be primitive.
Janeway: Just do what you're told. Later!
Transporter: Beam.
Janeway and B'Elanna: One...two...buckle my shoe....
Transporter: Bea--cough, cough. Oops.
Janeway: Uh oh.

Harry: I can't find him!
Chakotay: Just listen carefully for annoying singing.
Harry: (puts hand up to ear) Ah, there he is. Stand by for the coordinates.

Doctor: La la laaaa...oh, Captain! Good to see you!
Janeway: Icheb?
Doctor: Huh? Oh, no. Just unoriginal make-up. Besides, this is before "Collective."
Janeway: Oh...so what did you learn?
Doctor: Stuff. I'll elaborate off-screen.

Naomi: Hey Seven, what should I call my report?
Seven: How about " Why I Only Age Off-Screen "
Naomi: That works.
Janeway: (over comm) Here we go, let's break orbit!
Orbit: Ouch....
Voyager: WHEEEE!
Everyone: Hey! That's my line....
Janeway: Ok, we better stop before we screw everyone over down there too bad...

Turina: Orbital One to Houston, we have a problem!
Launch Control: static static
K'Tana: That's funny...
Turina: Thanks, I have another one. Knock Knock..
K'Tana: No no, that was terrible. I meant Launch Control's not responding.
Turina: Oh well, I guess the only option is to board the skyship.
K'Tana: Agreed.

Turina: There's something wrong with this. Everyone here is lifeless, still, and unanimated.
K'Tana: And we haven't even come across Chakotay yet.
Turina: Uggh! I'm feeling sick now. GACK!
K'Tana: Me too. Like I said, we haven't come across Chakotay yet. There is something wrong with this! GACK!
Janeway: Beam them to sickbay. They've been laying here for days now, and they're starting to smell!

Janeway: Gimme a report in five words or less.
Doctor: Chick's dead, guy's alive. Revive?
Janeway: Please.
K'Tana: I'm confused! What is going on?
Janeway: You're more primitive than us, but for some reason we think you can help us. 'Kay?
K'Tana: 'Kay. You know we have folk songs about you? La la la, shine shine shine, Personifi-
Janeway: That's beautiful.

K'Tana: You were on the planet?
Doctor: Yep.
K'Tana: Well, your favorite team sucks now.
Doctor: Here, let me rant...

Seven: Uh oh. We're being attacked by anti-matter missiles.
Tuvok: I warned you not to send down the Doctor!
Janeway: Well, there's only one thing to do. Let's send back K'Tana in his ship. That way we save the day and get rid of loose ends.

Doctor: Before you go, find out about my son. This is the only time I plan to ever bring him up.
K'Tana: How'd you have a son?
Doctor: I had a son?

K'Tana: Launch control? Do you read me?
Guy on Radio: Got that, one supersized burger meal.
K'Tana: Umm...just tell everyone that Orbital One is coming home!
Guy on Radio: Make that one with cheese then.

Voyager: Ow...ow...ow....
Janeway: Wow, it stopped.
Paris: And here come a couple of ships to help us out!
Harry: And here comes K'Tana!
Neelix: But first here comes my line...ok, done.
K'Tana: Here I am, but I can't stay long.
Janeway: S'okay, just one question. How'd you go from having dinky missiles to more tech than us so fast?
K'Tana: Well, we just...oops, outta time, gotta run!
Janeway: Oh well, time for business as usual.

Personification Star: Shine, shine! Hmmm....bye old K'Tana!
Old K'Tana: See you around!
Personification Star: No you won't, you're already dead by now anyway. (The personification star disappears at Ludicrous Speed)

THE END

Find more episode info in the Episode Guide.


IJD GAF is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.

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